BR TO CONSTANCE MALLESON, [28 SEPT.? 1917]
BRACERS 19226. AL. McMaster
Edited by S. Turcon. Reviewed by K. Blackwell

I have just this moment had your letter1^, 2^, 3^, 4 — You are much more good to me than I deserve. It is against my will and all I should wish to be to feel as I do — I will keep myself ready for you later on — I do mean it to be all right then. But just now, for the sake of the future, it is better to be apart. I must think of other things — the worry of this time has upset me — I am not very sane just now. But if I turn my thoughts away for a time I shall get better. I don’t in the very least wish you to do differently from what you are doing and it would make no difference to my feelings for the moment if you did — but I want time to see how your feelings and mine develop, and a breathing-space to grow sane. I wish I could have avoided hurting you. I believe in the work you are doing,5 absolutely, and I love the thought that you have it to do. I am sure you are wonderful in it. I have no wish to hamper your life. But for the sake of my own life we must be apart for the present.

• 1

  [document] Document 202111. This letter may be the hand letter which BR writes of in his letter of 30 September (BRACERS 19227). This letter is written on grey paper. Colette has written the date of 28 September on the envelope. However, two other letters (BRACERS 19221, 19222) have also been dated 28 September.

• 2

  [envelope] The Lady Constance Malleson. (Not franked.)

• 3

  [date] The date of 28 September 1917 is an assumption.

• 4

  your letter If this letter is dated correctly, then the letter referred to here would be Colette’s letter of 29 September 1917 (BRACERS 113070), which reads: “My Beloved, I’ve been thinking of you this whole day. I’ve been deeply unhappy. My thoughts surround you in uttermost love and tenderness.”

• 5

  the work you are doing She was completing the filming of Hindle Wakes.