BR TO CONSTANCE MALLESON, [26 AUG. 1920]
BRACERS 19694. AL. McMaster
Edited by S. Turcon. Reviewed by K. Blackwell

6 Rue Boissonade XIV.
Paris1^, 2
Thursday morning.3

I am very sorry, my Darling, that I have only written such miserable letters hitherto, but it has been difficult, particularly because of work on my book4 — Now it is four o’clock in the morning and I can’t sleep, so I’m taking the chance. I feel that you are very sad, and I am afraid you think I have vanished away in thought and feeling as well as in body, but it isn’t so, my dear one — new circumstances, at first, make a difficulty of expression, but that will very soon pass. From the ship I shall be able to write you much more real letters — Nicod and his wife5 came to tea yesterday — he was delightful, as he always is, but very unhappy because I didn’t believe in the Bolsheviks. They brought us an article of Lenin by Gorky6 translated by his mother, who is Russian. It is nominally praise and has been published in their organ, the Communist International, but is obviously really ironic. We went to dinner with his mother and grandmother, the former a Tolstoyan, the latter a ferocious anti-Bolshevik from a merely reactionary standpoint. His mother bored me by talking about the virtue and idealism of the peasants, in a true Tolstoyan vein. I don’t believe a word of it. I think peasants everywhere are grasping and selfish. There has been no time to go to plays or see anything except shops — lots of things that didn’t get done before leaving London have to be done now —

I wonder how you are getting on with the letters7 — also whether you have the two I wrote from prison to no one in particular,8 which I think were the best. If not, let me know, because probably Ottoline9 has them. — Beloved, don’t doubt my love — It is unalterable, and based on things that nothing can take away. You know that I could never forget the moment when you came out of the motor-car at Lulworth10 and put your arms round me in the darkness — or the evening when we read “Epipsychidion” at Ashford“11 — You know that to my dying day I shall never hear gulls without thinking of wind and sea at Lynton,12 with you beside me, my Heart’s Comrade13 in all that is wild and great. Next autumn is a long way off, but it will come. We have only once been happy together in the autumn, at the very beginning. Do you remember two storms of rain in Richmond Park?14 How long long ago it was ...

• 1

  [document] Document 200695. The letter is written on ruled loose-leaf paper of the kind BR used for the ms. of his book.

• 2

  [envelope] Miss Colette O’Niel | 6 Mecklenburgh Square | London W.C.1. | Angleterre. Pmk: AV L’UBSERVATOIRE | 1616 26–8 | 20

• 3

  [date] The date is taken from the envelope’s postmark.

• 4

  my bookThe Practice and Theory of Bolshevism (B&R A34), published on 9 November 1920.

• 5

  Nicod and his wife Jean Nicod (1893–1924), philosopher and logician, one of BR’s logic pupils in the autumn of 1916 , and his wife, Thérèse.

• 6

  an article on Lenin by Gorky The version that BR saw in translation was in Kommunisticheskii Internatsional. The article was also published in the United States as “Valdimir Ilyitch Lenin”, Communist International, nos. 11–12 (June–July 1920): 2,388–90.

• 7

  getting on with the letters A book of “literary” letters, which would include some of their own personal early letters, the Russian “book” letters, and future letters from China. For information, see BRACERS 19585, n.6.

• 8

  two I wrote from prison to no one in particular Colette replied on 29 August 1920 (BRACERS 116413) that she had those letters as well as some of the letters written to Frank Russell. Once he reached China BR again told her that she should get those letters, describing them more fully — “one about early memories, the other one about pacifism and the littleness of man” (BRACERS 19711). The pacifism letter is addressed to “all and sundry” and was written on 29–30 July 1918 (BRACERS 19337). The other letter also in Auto. 2: 93–4 must be that of 31 August 1918, “For Anyone Whom It May Interest” and sent to Lady Ottoline Morrell (BRACERS 131572).

• 9

  Ottoline Lady Ottoline Morrell, née Cavendish-Bentinck (1873–1938). For information on her, see BRACERS 19077, n.5.

• 10

  the motor-car at Lulworth At the time BR wrote of “the unbelievable joy of the first moment when you arrived and held me in your arms in the dusk” (28 June 1919; BRACERS 19491). Written later (perhaps even later than this letter), Colette wrote down her thoughts: “He turned suddenly and saw her standing on the footboard of the car, her bare arms holding back the open door. In a moment she was beside him, her hair brushing her cheek, her arms around him” (“What Colette Wrote after She Motored to B. at Lulworth”; BRACERS 98479).

• 11

  read “Epipsychidion” at Ashford The poem by Shelley which they read during their vacation in August 1917 at Ashford Carbonel near Ludlow, Shrops.

• 12

  Lynton Lynton, Devon. BR and Colette spent Christmas at the Cottage Hotel there in 1918 and 1919 with Clifford Allen.

• 13

  Heart’s Comrade For information on the use of the term, see BRACERS 19145, n.12.

• 14

  storms of rain in Richmond Park They spent a memorable day in Richmond Park early in their relationship on 24 October 1916, Colette’s birthday.