BR TO CONSTANCE MALLESON, 1 NOV. 1918
BRACERS 19383. ALS. McMaster
Edited by S. Turcon. Reviewed by K. Blackwell

<London>
1 Nov. ’18 [All Saints’ Day — no day for the likes of us]1^, 2

My lovely Darling

I do miss you dreadfully when night comes — but we had a lovely time today — You are so kind to me.

I actually remembered to post your letter to Miles3 with the cheque. I wonder if you remembered to send 16/–4 to Mrs Saich?5

The world in these days is rather dreadful — I think of the horrors in store for Austria6 and realize how we have brought them on and how we gloat over them and hope to see the same in Germany. I am in for a fit of weariness of spirit like what I had 2 years ago7 — I feel a wretch, good for nothing, oppressive and useless — There is nothing to do but wait for the spring. This planet seems small and sordid — and the men and women in it mostly loathsome — I can’t help thinking the Deity might have done better. I wish one could give him a month’s notice — Your love is the one thing in the world that is precious to me and full of delight. My love for you ought to be more robust and independent than it is, less clinging; if that were achieved I should not want to tyrannize.

When I came upon you at the Tube today, before you saw me, you did not look happy. I think I have only known you really happy twice: at the Cat and Fiddle, and at Blackpool8 — I wish I could know how you are to get more happiness out of life. A series of men will give you a series of happy moments, but the complications and the ultimate sense of futility will give you much longer times of depression.

Goodnight Beloved — All this rigmarole only means that I am missing you. A thousand kisses and all tender thoughts —

B.

• 1

  [document] Document 200373.

• 2

  [envelope] The Lady Con<stance Malleson> | 44 Great Cumberland Place | W.1. The stamp and part of the address are missing.

• 3

  Miles Miles Malleson (1888–1969), Colette’s husband. For further information on him, see BRACERS 19046, n.4. She was no longer living with him.

• 4

  16/– 16 shillings.

• 5

  Mrs Saich BR’s cleaning lady at his Bury Street flat.

• 6

  horrors in store for Austria By 1 November 1918 the Hapsburg monarchy, which had ruled the Austrian-Hungarian Empire for fifty years, was in dissolution, plunging the empire into turmoil. On 5 November, Austria-Hungary surrendered to the Allies. According to Colette, BR was also concerned about starvation in Germany (“Letters to Bertrand Russell from Constance Malleson, 1916-1969”, p. 297; typescript in RA).

• 7

  like what I had 2 years ago See BR’s letters of January 1917.

• 8

  at the Cat and Fiddle, and at Blackpool Surely Blackpool is a slip of the pen for Ashford, as BR was never at Blackpool where Colette filmed Hindle Wakes. Their two most idyllic vacations were taken at the Cat and Fiddle and at Ashford. See S. Turcon, “Then and Now: Bertie and Colette’s Escapes to the Peak District and Welsh Borderlands”, Russell 34 (2014): 117–30.