BR TO CONSTANCE MALLESON, [25 OCT. 1918]
BRACERS 19377. ALS. McMaster
Edited by S. Turcon. Reviewed by K. Blackwell

<Abinger Common>
Friday evg.1^, 2

My dear dear Love

Your letter by 1st post was very dear. I wonder if it was written while your decision was still in doubt. — Come Monday: I will meet you, we will go out after lunch, and come back here3 to dinner at 7. (Tea at an inn.)  I must come up with you as C.A.4 has to go up too. But I shall be quite happy settling in at the Studio5 — I am glad you are staying on at 44,6 it is good for you. — O my love, I wonder if you are very unhappy — I long so much to be able to comfort you but I suppose I can’t — I love you so deeply and tenderly — I want to surround you with infinite love — I do feel you my Heart’s Comrade7 — all that was deepest in my love is going out to you now as never before — and I don’t want to go on being an enemy to the natural expressions of your vitality8 except when you yourself become convinced they are a mistake for your own sake. O my love my love all my heart and soul is yours utterly and absolutely.

B.

If you wish it in the faintest degree, telegraph and I will come up tomorrow.

• 1

  [document] Document 200367.

• 2

  [date] The date has been assigned by the archivist based on other surrounding dated letters.

• 3

  come back here Abinger Common.

• 4

  C.A. (Reginald) Clifford Allen (1889–1939). For information on him, see BRACERS 19046, n.7.

• 5

  the Studio The place BR and Colette rented on the ground floor at 5 Fitzroy Street, Soho. For more information, see BRACERS 19247, n.8.

• 6

  staying on at 44 44 Great Cumberland Place, the London home of Colette’s mother. Colette had moved from her own flat into BR’s flat just before he left prison. He was to use the Studio as a work place when he came out but didn't because their relationship had collapsed.

• 7

  Heart’s Comrade  For usage of this term, see BRACERS 19145, n.12.

• 8

  the natural expressions of your vitality A reference to her habit of open relationships.