BR TO CONSTANCE MALLESON, 13 DEC. 1917
BRACERS 19257. ALS. McMaster
Edited by S. Turcon. Reviewed by K. Blackwell

<London>
13 Dec. ’171^, 2

My Beloved

Since last night I feel we have found each other again — I haven’t even a faint lingering trace of past evil feelings. I feel absolutely happy about you. You have been quite wonderful in not copying my pugnacity. The future looks to me quite easy; though I suppose it won’t really be — nothing worth while is easy —

I find myself disinclined to go back to the Studio3 — it belongs with a phase that is past. (I think I have caught this feeling from you.)a Now that things are happy between us, I don’t feel grasping or impatient — and there will probably be times when Miles4 will be in the country and I can come to the Attic.5

Nothing but financial necessity would have made me suggest moving the Studio furniture to Marlow6 — I don’t want to tell Mrs E.7 of the Studio if I can help it — still less to take her there — but the saving of money is important — I think perhaps I can manage without telling her.

My loved one, since last night my whole being is flooded with happiness — It goes so deep that I can’t yet find any words. I only know that streets and people and books and politics all wear quite a different face from what they wore yesterday — interest instead of tedium, hope instead of despair —

Till Saturday, my Heart’s Joy.

B.

• 1

  [document] Document 200245.

• 2

  [envelope] The Lady Constance Malleson | 6 Mecklenburgh Square | W.C.1. | There are no postage stamps or franking, but the envelope is stamped “ALL CHARGES PAID”.

• 3

  the Studio The name given to the place that they had rented on the ground floor at 5 Fitzroy Street. For information about it, see BRACERS 19240, n.9.

• 4

  Miles Miles Malleson (1888–1969), Colette’s husband. For information on him, see BRACERS 19046, n.4.

• 5

  come to the Attic The nickname for Colette’s flat which she shared with her husband at 6 Mecklenburgh Sq. BR had become uncomfortable visiting there and thus they had decided to get their own place (the Studio) to meet.

• 6

  Marlow T.S. and Vivienne Eliot had rented a cottage at 31 West Street in the village of Marlow, Bucks. the week before, on 5 December 1917. BR did have some financial obligation with regard to the rental and he contributed furniture as well. He had wanted a place in the country. The lease was terminated on 15 November 1920.

• 7

  Mrs E. Vivienne Eliot (1888–1947), the wife of poet T.S. Eliot. For further information on her, see BRACERS 19062, n.5.

Textual Notes

• a

  (I think … you.) inserted