BR TO CONSTANCE MALLESON, [4 JULY 1917]
BRACERS 19179. ALS. McMaster
Edited by S. Turcon. Reviewed by K. Blackwell

<London>
Wed. night.1^, 2

My dearest Darling

It seems 100 years since Monday morning — my life now is so oddly cut in two, between the times of utter happiness with you and the times of overwhelming business away from you.  I enjoyed seeing Miles3 last night, because I couldn’t see you, largely — I have masses of writing to do — I have done an introduction to C.A.’s4 booklet,5 and an article on Education6 — I am in the middle of an article for an American periodical7 and a long memoir for F.B. Meyer8 — but I managed to go with my brother to H. James’s play9 yesterday — poor stuff I thought. Miles and I talked about you, which was a comfort.

My heart’s Joy, I count on you Friday evening and night. I have absolutely nothing to do Sunday — are you away for the week-end?  I forgot to ask.

My Beloved, I am not really happy about you. I am absolutely happy in what you give me, but not in what goes on inside you — I know very little about it, but I feel  you not fundamentally happy, and I hate that — You have a prejudice against thinking about yourself, but sometimes one ought to — I don’t believe it is only that you haven’t got a job — Dearest one, do let me help you if it is at all possible — do tell me everything you can — We should be able to say everything to each other. Perhaps I am only imagining things, but some vague haunting feeling of trouble hangs about my image of you — Your happiness is precious to me, my dear one, and I love you so much that I ought to be able to do some good —

My loved one, it was divine being with you those days and nights — It is only a half-life away from you — I saw Claire10 today — I count up all the things that bring me into any touch with you.

Goodnight, my Beloved — I feel all the love and life of the world comes to me from you.

B

• 1

  [document] Document 200158.

• 2

  [date] Colette wrote “4 July 1917” on the letter.

• 3

  Miles Miles Malleson, Colette’s husband. For further information on him, see BRACERS 19046, n.4.

• 4

  C.A. (Reginald) Clifford Allen (1889–1939). For further information on him, see BRACERS 19046, n.7.

• 5

  an introduction to C.A.’s booklet No trace was found of this booklet, On Active Service; the introduction was published as 46 in Papers 14.

• 6

  an article on Education “Self-Discipline and Self-Government”, The Herald of the Star (B&R C17.49); 67 in Papers 14.

• 7

  an article for an American periodical Possibly “Is Nationalism Moribund” published in The Seven Arts (B&R C17.55), as on 10 July 1917 he wrote that he had just finished dictating this article (BRACERS 19182); it is 72 in Papers 14.

• 8

  long memoir for F.B. Meyer Identified as Meyer’s pamphlet The Majesty of Conscience (Manchester: National Labour Press, 1917). BR’s part in it has not been identified.

• 9

  H. James’s playThe Outcry, which received a luke-warm review in The Times, 4 July 1917, p. 9.

• 10

  Claire Clare Annesley (1893–1980), Colette’s sister.