BR TO CONSTANCE MALLESON, [8 DEC. 1916]
BRACERS 19089. AL. McMaster
Edited by S. Turcon. Reviewed by K. Blackwell

<letterhead>
57 Gordon Square
W.C.1^, 2
In the train
Fri. night3

Train very full — can’t write as I should like. I saw C.A.4 today — a most delightful visit — 2 hours’ talk in the Guard Room. He was quite his old self — a little pale, but substantially very well — I don’t think prison is hurting him either mentally or physically — I do love him — it was a very very great joy to see him and to find him so well. I hadn’t believed what C.E.M.5 reported.

I tried to telephone to you in London but there was no answer — I hadn’t time to write. It has made me normal again seeing him. The irritation of feeling he was out of prison and I couldn’t get at him was driving me mad. He was quite wonderfully full of sympathy — it was quite hard to get him to talk about himself.

Your letter6 which I found at Gordon Sq7 just now interested me very much indeed — I am longing to hear all that you have been thinking. — I will come Tuesday at 6:40.8 I suggest Tube to Hyde Park Corner and then walk. One can’t get a taxi at that time. 6:40 is not too early — we shall have to start at once. I won’t try to see you Monday night as we must both go to sleep early.

I can’t tell you how much I long for Tues. night — I want to feel your dear arms about me and your lips on my lips — and oh I long to be asleep with you once more. C.A. has obsessed me all this time — now my heart is free to go out to you again. My dearest Darling loved one my soul is yours.

I forgot to tell you, because of all our more intimate concerns, that I have made great friends with Katharine Mansfield.9 She has a very remarkable mind and has had a lot of experience of curious kinds — I doubt if she has much heart — I told you I dined with her one night. She is certainly an acquisition.

Newhaven was hateful — so fearfully military — C.E.M. placed in my charge a young woman named Mrs Gill, whose husband is an absolutist and was court-martialled yesterday at Newhaven. We travelled down together, got lodgings in the same house, and went up to the Fort together this morning. When we got there, I saw C.A. at once — she was all ready to fall into her husband’s arms (they were only married a week before he was taken) when it turned out he had been taken to Lewis,10 so she had to go off there — I hope she found him. She nearly broke down with disappointment. C.A. says Gill is mentally affected, and C.A. has advised him to take the Home Office work. I dread what the poor woman must suffer in meeting him. She is young and pretty and gay and full of pluck. The world is so full of pain.

Goodnight my loved one.  I love you I love you I love you.

• 1

  [document] Document 200058.

• 2

  [envelope] The Lady Constance Malleson | 43 Bernard Street | Russell Square | London W.C. Pmk: ?? | 8.15. PM | 8 DEC 16

• 3

  [date] Colette wrote “8 December 1916” on the letter.

• 4

  C.A. (Reginald) Clifford Allen (1889–1939). For further information on him, see BRACERS 19046 n.7.

• 5

  C.E.M. Catherine Marshall (1880–1961). For further information on her, see BRACERS 19043 n.5.

• 6

  Your letter Colette’s edited letter of 7 December 1916 is not particularly interesting (BRACERS 112975).

• 7

  Gordon Sq The London home of Frank Russell.

• 8

  6:40 Colette later added “A.M” to clarify the time.

• 9

  Katharine Mansfield Katherine Mansfield (1888–1923), short-story writer. BR met her in July 1915; an intense friendship began in November 1916. Her early death was caused by tuberculosis.

• 10

  Lewis BRmeans Lewes, a town in East Sussex, not that far from Newhaven where Allen’s court martial was scheduled to take place.