BR TO OTTOLINE MORRELL, [16 NOV. 1911]
BRACERS 17345. Morrell papers #258, Texas
Proofread by K. Blackwell et al.

<letterhead>
Trinity College,
Cambridge.1^, 2
Thursday afternoon

My Dearest Dearest

I do long to be with you again — it seems an eternity since Monday. Today it is warm and beautiful with the last moment of autumn beauty. I am writing out of doors — wishing we had managed to get into the country together before the winter — The wind and bare boughs are very moving today. I have had a penitent letter from Arthur Russell, telling me his conscience is about to smite him for not having been nicer to his mother, and he is noa longer angry with me. It is worse than when he was angry.

I have had a serious worry the last day or two arising out of old sins — it is practically over now. I wish I were free to tell you all about it.

This morning I had a very pleasant talk with Mrs Whitehead — mostly gossip — she is staying in Newnham with Hope Mirrlees. I made my list of errata, sent off my proofs, and decided what to talk about in my lecture today. So I am getting on. The Index can wait for the week-end. Next week-end I go to the Murrays.

O my Darling I do want you so much — I am thankful it is only till tomorrow. The bad times I went through formerly seem far worse now than when I was in them, because now I have such a contrast — It is amazing what you are to me — I feel that you live in a world of light and take me up into it out of darkness and hell — I never imagined you were particularly happy and I know you have been usually very much the reverse — but it doesn’t seem like hell, it seems large and in some way serene — not murky and wild. Do you know what I mean?

Goodbye till tomorrow my Life and Joy. I love you and cling to you my Dearest Dearest.

Your
B

• 1

  [document] Document 000258. Proofread against a colour scan of the original.

• 2

  [envelope] A circled “258”. The Lady Ottoline Morrell | 44 Bedford Square | London W.C. Pmk: CAMBRIDGE | 3.15 PM | NO 16 |

Textual Notes

• a

  he is no inserted