BR TO OTTOLINE MORRELL, 18 OCT. 1911
BRACERS 17311. ALS. Morrell papers #225, Texas. SLBR 1: #179
Edited by N. Griffin. Proofread by K. Blackwell and A. Duncan

Trinity.1^, 2
Wed. evg. Oct. 18. 1911

My Beloved

Your dear dear letter of yesterday reached me when I got home — I was glad of it. You will see that at last my things have arrived from Goring3 and I can’t resist writing to you at once on your writing-block. I love using things you have given me, especially for writing to you. I am feeling very happy tonight, really believing I shall see you soon, and somehow having a sense of your presence more than I have had lately. You might have thought such severe criticism of Prisons4 would have depressed me, but it has only stimulated me.

I got home at 4.30: I had just read your letter and made my tea when Ogden (Sec. of Heretics) came to say Chesterton5 is speaking the night of my P.S.F.6 meeting — this raised a lot of complicated problems, which we were in the middle of when an unknown German appeared, speaking very little English but refusing to speak German. He turned out to be a man who had learnt engineering at Charlottenburg, but during his course had acquired, by himself, a passion for the philosophy of mathematics, and has now come to Cambridge on purpose to hear me. This took till 5.15; in the next few minutes I settled my business with Ogden, and then went off to my lecture, where I found my German7 duly established. I lectured very well, owing to excitement and insufficient preparation. I am much interested by my German, and shall hope to see a lot of him. Ogden has undertaken to do P.S.F. work for me, which is a very great relief.

I am sending back some books you lent me, also Crashaw.8 I do wish you would tell me of some books you would like to have. I will give you anything in philosophy that you would care for. Spinoza first. Descartes’ Meditationsa you might like. Do you possess Berkeley? Do let me know what you would like, not only in philosophy.

Thanks for the information about Gray’s Inn. I will look for rooms, tomorrow if possible. But I don’t want to be too near Marsh.9 You could come there very easily — you might be going to consult your lawyer. — Tomorrow it will be 7 months since the world began. A lot has happened in the time — it seems much longer. My Darling, it is incredible how you have changed my life — it is all so much easier — before, I was always struggling and always falling short, and so filled with inward discords. Now it is utterly different. I feel I have so much to give to every one — and I don’t have any longer the restless longing to give that made me give too much and to the wrong people. Now I must stop. Goodnight my Darling. Very soon I shall hold you in my arms and our souls will meet in a long long kiss. The joy you give me is infinite and divine and above all words. Goodbye my heart.

Your
B

• 1

  [document] Document 000225. Proofread against a colour scan of the original.

• 2

  [envelope] A circled “225”. The Lady Ottoline Morrell | Hotel des Saints Pères | Rue des Saints Pères | Paris | France. Pmk: CAMBRIDGE | 11. PM | OC 18 | 11 | 3 

• 3

  Goring Goring is a village near Ipsden (BR had sometimes posted his letters from there), but why his things were there (rather than at Ipsden) is not known — probably it was the nearest railway station.

• 4

  Prisons  The Whiteheads had been shown Prisons. Alfred had not managed to get through much of it, but Evelyn had read it all and not liked it. On 18 October, BR had reported that she found it dull: “the most severe criticism there is”, he said.

• 5

  Chesterton G.K. Chesterton (1874–1936), the writer.

• 6

  P.S.F. The People’s Suffrage Federation.

• 7

  my German BR wrote (presumably later) up the left margin of the page by this paragraph: “This was Wittgenstein”.

• 8

  Crashaw Probably the Poems of the English religious poet Richard Crashaw (1612/13–1649).

• 9

  Marsh Eddie Marsh (1872–1953) had a distinguished career as a civil servant, primarily as Winston Churchill’s private secretary, in which capacity he followed Churchill through many branches of the bureaucracy. He was also an art collector, patron, and connoisseur. Between 1912 and 1922 he edited five volumes of Georgian Poetry, in which many of the best poets of the period were represented. He had remained friends with BR until their differing views in the First World War provoked a breach.

Textual Notes

• a

  Meditations BR wrote meditations