BR TO OTTOLINE MORRELL, [16 JUNE 1911]
BRACERS 17194. ALS. Morrell papers #117, Texas
Proofread by K. Blackwell et al.

<letterhead>
Trinity College,
Cambridge.1^, 2
More’s Garden,
Friday night

My Dearest

I went to the Whiteheads, and was received with a face of blank horror — it turned out they were just expecting Alys so I had to fly — then I made a whole round unsuccessfully and at last found my cousin Ethel Portal just beginning to recover from one of her shattering headaches. I found Alys had written to her! I stayed a very short time as her Dr. came. I had dinner here with Dakyns who had been to hear Bréal and had enjoyed it. Then we went to the Sangers — first downstairs with the men — Vaughan Williams, Duncan Grant, Smyth, and a man named Ferrars who was a mathematician in my time at Cambridge and is now a barrister in the Malay peninsula. He entertained us with stories of the rubber boom out there — an essentially masculine conversation, full of finance and roguery. I enjoyed seeing him — he had a lot of queer interesting experience — when we went up I found Miss Stawell and talked with her which I enjoyed — but I had my deaf ear to her and could hardly hear what she said which made me very solemn. She is rather splendid — but I feel a sentimentalism which would prevent me from feeling quite at home with her. Ferrars, who had never heard of her, was “so glad to find her interested in Chinese art”,a which he knew as a person who has had it thrust in his way, not as a cultured person — it was rather amusing. Adrian Stephen and Mary Creighton were there but I had no talk with either. — I was sorry I had gone to the Whiteheads — it upset her rather and therefore me.

Sat. morning.b I am just off to Shiffolds. I hope this will reach you in London before you go. In the train I will write to Oxford. There won’t be any chance to write a second letter to Oxford I expect, as I shan’t probably be able to post letters myself there, and I can’t let any one else post a letter to you. So don’t be surprised if no further letter comes while I am there.

Dearest I do hope you are better today. I wish your nerves could get rested. I feel as if you would never get your nerves rested with me about. But perhaps you will when things quiet down. Only I hate the feeling that I make you more ill and tired. I think you are too much afraid of complaining — and you never ask me to do anything to makec things easier for you. You ought to make me know your needs more and notd let me worry you unnecessarily.

You must somehow avoid too great a strain — you must really help me to make life as easy as may be for you.

Now I must stop. Goodbye Dearest Dearest. Remember that I would do anything rather than make you ill. I really do want not to be selfish towards you, and I feel I have been hitherto rather.

Yours utterly
B.

• 1

  [document] Document 000117. Proofread against a colour scan of the original.

• 2

  [envelope] A circled “117”.

Textual Notes

• a

  “so … art” quotation marks added in ink, this part of the letter having been written in pencil

• b

  Sat. morning. From this point the remainder of the letter is in ink.

• c

  make editorially emended from makes

• d

  not inserted