BR TO KATHARINE TAIT, 16 JAN. 1947
BRACERS 52571. ALS. McMaster. SLBR 2: #477
Edited by N. Griffin. Proofread by K. Blackwell

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TRINITY COLLEGE,
CAMBRIDGE.
16.1.47

Dear Kate

I have 2 letters from you that have wanted answers for a month, but it was difficult to write during Conrad’s holidays. I heard from Peter (who did not show me your letter) that you were afraid you had written too gloomily to me; this was not so, as it is a real happiness to me when you write freely and without too much reserve about your thoughts and feelings and difficulties.

If you feel you would like to come to England next summer, I can get Simon and Schuster1 to send you the money for your fare. It would be such a very great pleasure to me to see you that it would be amply worth it to me.

I want very much to hear more about Alan, or about any one else if he is now out of date. It would be good for you to be married if you were fond of the man and respected him and did not have to mother him beyond a point. I hope you will marry before very long.

You are right, of course, in saying that the root of your troubles is fear — not this or that specific fear, but general anxiety. I have suffered from it, though I no longer do so. I think the best treatment is to imagine various not improbable misfortunes, and say to yourself “well, I could bear that.” The worst plan is to try to distract your thoughts from what you fear.

In your letter of Nov. 18 you write about having formerly kept me at a distance. It is true that that used to cause me unhappiness, but your new friendliness amply compensates. John is more or less lost to me, and Conrad will always be mainly his mother’s child, but you are now to me a daughter the exact opposite of the one in “daughters, said the philosopher”.2 Your affection means a great deal to me, and makes a considerable part of such happiness as I enjoy.

You say you are always getting in your own way. That is partly merely not knowing how to manage. When one is learning to walk or ride a bicycle, one has to think about walking or riding, but when one has learnt one does it without thought. One of the advantages of getting older is that there are more and more things one can do in this way. If you ever have children, affection for them will take you out of yourself.

All goes well with us. I am living in London and come to Cambridge one day a week. Write again soon. Much love.

Yrs aff
Diddy

• 1

  Simon and Schuster Russell’s American publisher. Currency restrictions still made it impossible for Bertie to send her money directly.

• 2

  “daughters, said the philosopher” “‘Daughters”, said the philosopher, “have been a trouble to their parents since the world began’” (James Stephens, The Crock of Gold [1912]). Russell had teased Kate with this quotation as a child.