BR TO GAMEL BRENAN, 22 FEB. 1946
BRACERS 56417. ALS(X). New York Public Library
Proofread by K. Blackwell

22 Feb. ’46. In bed.

My dear Gamel

Thank you very much for your sympathetic letter, which comforted me. I have been during this last month through a whole cycle of emotion, enough for 10 years. Naturally enough, it has made me ill, and I have spent some time in bed. But now I am recovering both mentally and physically. Until yesterday I thought I was permanently damaged, but now I think not — I can never again live in the same house with Peter when I am working, as she wears me out, but I hope to be able to manage Conrad’s holidays with her, for his sake. She was here last week-end to pack up, and is now in Wales. When I am with her she spends all the time weeping, and explaining over and over again exactly how I have ruined her life, but when I am absent she is gay. She will have to come back here some time to clear up papers etc., but not yet awhile — She tries to imprison me in a round of petty personal emotions and is furious when I think about impersonal things. I won’t submit to it any more.

I shall be at the BBC Monday March 111 unless I am ill, and I should be very glad if we could manage tea and dinner — I shall have to catch a 10 o’clock train back to Cambridge. I forget the address of the place you suggested last time for tea — if you still think it the place to go, will you tell me the address again? I cannot tell you how much I want to talk to you.

Goodbye with love.

Your
B.

• 1

  at the BBC Monday March 11 For the Brains Trust. See App. I.11 in Collected Papers 24.