BR TO CONSTANCE MALLESON, 2 JUNE 1948
BRACERS 19850. ALS. McMaster
Edited by S. Turcon. Reviewed by K. Blackwell

<letterhead>
27 Dorset House
Gloucester Place
N.W.11
2 June 1948

My Dearest

Your lovely letter2 reached me this morning — thank you for it 1000 times. I don’t know why you feel any shame about our last moment,3 when you seemed to me altogether lovable. I think my most vivid memory will be our walk along the lake;4 as I told you, I always remember outdoor things best. I am very very glad of the whole time,5 and that what has been between us is still so very much alive.

I had no difficulty at the Customs, partly because the man who dealt with me was the same who dealt with me when I landed from America in 1944, four days after D day.6 Peter7 and Conrad8 are infinitely grateful for the food — Conrad said he had almost forgotten what ham tastes like. Peter likes the “dam strumpets”9 very much. She is writing to you.10 For my part I was struck all over again by your kindness and generosity.

Bless you, my darling. In a bad world, I am glad you exist.

B.

• 1

  [document] Document 200857.

• 2

  lovely letter A draft with the notation to rewrite is extant (BRACERS 135566).

• 3

  shame about our last moment The only extant version of this letter is a draft. In it she wrote: “I remember how my tears fell upon your poor bare shoulders in the moment of parting and that makes me your very ashamed Colette” (BRACERS 135566).

• 4

  our walk along the lake Lake Mälaren, west of Stockholm where they stayed. The lake is called Malar in English.

• 5

  the whole time Details of the time they spent together in Stockholm are found in three letters that Colette wrote to her friend Phyllis Urch (transcribed in “Letters to Bertrand Russell from Constance Malleson, 1916–1969”; see BRACERS 113282, 113266, 113267) as well as the draft she composed to BR. She filled his hotel room at the Reisen with flowers and special toiletries. She wore the dress, trimmed with his mother’s lace, that she had made to greet him upon his return from China in 1921 but never wore. He, in turn, was wearing on his watch-chain the small gold coin she had given him in 1919. They became lovers again, as she testifies.

• 6

  four days after D day D-Day was on 6 June, so 10 June.

• 7

  Peter Patricia (“Peter”) Russell, née Spence (1910–2004). She and BR were married from 1936 until 1952.

• 8

  Conrad Conrad Sebastian Robert Russell, born 15 April 1937 to BR and his wife Patricia.

• 9

  “dam strumpets” Swedish for women’s socks.

• 10

  She is writing to you. Only two letters survive from 1949 (BRACERS 107309 and 107310).