BR TO CONSTANCE MALLESON, [2 SEPT. 1919]
BRACERS 19547. ALS. McMaster
Edited by S. Turcon. Reviewed by K. Blackwell

<West Lulworth>
Tuesday1^, 2^,3

Letters came from you my Beloved yesterday afternoon and this morning. Such unhappy letters — oh I am sorry my dear heart’s Treasure. It is quite horrible about Eve4 — it must wear your nerves to fiddle-strings, and it is so ugly. I think you did quite right to apologize. In such a situation it is useless to think about the rights and wrongs: the only thing is to think how to get through with the smallest amount of fracas. I see what it is with Eve: she always goes mad during rehearsals. If you think over past occurrences you will see that is so. I suppose she can’t stand the excitement of them. Don’t think of her as a responsible being: think of her as the unfortunate victim of a dreadful malady. That is the truth. I feel very very much to blame, as it is my fault that her delusions turned against you. — Your letter this morning5 is terribly sad. Dear dear Love, remember that I love you always most tenderly and with all my being — I would gladly give my life for you, or sacrifice everything if I could bring you happiness. I could live with you and leave you perfect freedom, or live away from you and see you as seldom as you liked, or do anything in all the world for you. If anything I do or feel makes you unhappy ever, tell me — You know that my love for you now is quite a new thing, because I do really know and feel in my instincts how you care for me. It has made everything different. Since Blackpool6 I had felt in my instincts (thought not in my reason) as if your feeling for me were trivial — but now I don’t feel that, and it makes everything changed — It does away with jealousy and grasping claims — I want only to do all that is in my power to bring you happiness. So tell me, my Darling, if there is anything in the world that I can do — beyond giving you the deepest, tenderest, strongest love that my nature is capable of feeling.

I find I have taken this place7 till Sp. 29, not Sp. 24. All the visitors go away on Sp. 24. If you are going to be free, and would like it, you could come here for those 5 days; or for the first three, if five seemed impossible. What do you say? It would be so wonderful to start the autumn with the feeling of sea and sky and beauty together in our hearts. I do miss you dreadfully whenever the world is beautiful — a great ache comes into me, and I cannot let the glory of it sink in. If you can’t come, I shall come to you unless you are in Madeira.8 Keep up your courage, Beloved — the bad things are not for ever.

Our new party is going to be difficult to manage. Madame Nicod9 has bobbed hair, is ugly, spirited, advanced, I think rather masterful and inclined to jealousy. Nicod10 is just the same as ever; so is Wrinch,11 worse luck. Littlewood12 has hit on a great idea and is in a fever of work. — Now I must get on with my work. Goodbye my Heart’s Comrade13 — remember all the strength and solidity of my love, tell me everything, and trust me to be what help I can —

B

• 1

  [document] Document 200534.

• 2

  [envelope] The Lady Constance Malleson | 6 Mecklenburgh Square | London W.C.1. Pmk: WEST LULWORTH | 2 SP | 19

• 3

  [date] The date is taken from the envelope’s postmark.

• 4

  horrible about Eve Evelyn Walsh Hall, who played the role of Hecuba in the Oxford production of The Trojan Women. Because Colette’s letters are not extant for this time, it is not known what was going on with Eve apart from what BR writes in this letter. For information on Hall, see BRACERS 19394, n.8.

• 5

  Your letter this morning Not extant.

• 6

  Blackpool Part of the movie Hindle Wakes was shot in and near Blackpool in September 1917. BR became very jealous of Colette’s relationship with her director, Maurice Elvey, and this caused a serious rift with her.

• 7

  this place Newlands Farm in Lulworth.

• 8

  in Madeira Colette and her sister Clare had been planning a trip together; possibly it was to Madeira.

• 9

  Madame Nicod Thérèse Nicod, wife of Jean Nicod.

• 10

  Nicod Jean Nicod (1893–1924), mathematician and logician, one of BR’s logic pupils in the autumn of 1916.

• 11

  Wrinch Dorothy Maud Wrinch (1894–1976), mathematician and (later) theoretical biologist.

• 12

  Littlewood John Edensor Littlewood (1885–1977), mathematician. BR and he had taken Newlands Farm for the summer.

• 13

  Heart’s Comrade For information on this term, see BRACERS 19145, n.12.