BRACERS Record Detail
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"Sunday My Beloved—Don't think, please, because I have moments of violent impulse, that my tenderness towards you is not very real and great—it really is."
There are two transcriptions of this letter: document .052438, record 99911; document .201139, record 116374. Both of these versions have "Blackpool" changed to "bad time" and both are missing a few sentences. The latter version has slightly more omitted text than the former.
BR TO CONSTANCE MALLESON, 25 AUG. 1918
BRACERS 19351. AL. McMaster
Previous Brixton letter, BRACERS 19350; next letter, BRACERS 18688
Edited by Kenneth Blackwell, Andrew G. Bone, Nicholas Griffin and Sheila Turcon
Sunday. 25 Aug. ’18.
My Beloved —
Don’t think, please, because I have moments of violent impulse, that my tenderness towards you is not very real and great. It really is. I can’t bear it when I have given you pain. These impulses come, but the underlying lasting feeling is utterly tender. That is really true, Dearest.
I do want affection to grow between you and me. Affection is a slow growth, not like passion — and I fear that when I am violent I check its growth, as we both did at the Blackpool2 time. But love such as yours and mine ought to grow into a very strong affection — if it does not, it has missed its aim. I do have a true affection for you — think of the Clee Hill day. It was affection, not passion, that first brought me back after Blackpool. Dearest Love, I want your affection, and I hate to bruise it by violence.
O my dear, I shall be with you again — in your arms — before very long. Sweet Love, Sweet Dear, my Angel, my lovely Darling.
I envy Yellow Peril3 being with you all this time. I shall love seeing him again.
When your birthday comes we will have fun, and get you what shall it be? A new night dress? Something we can remember the time by, compatibly with our poverty! Goodnight my heart’s Joy — my thoughts are with you from morning till night, and in my dreams.
[document] The letter was edited from the unsigned, twice-folded half-sheet in BR’s hand in the Malleson papers in the Russell Archives. The paper is the bottom half of a ruled sheet, turned 90 degrees.
Blackpool The film Hindle Wakes was shot in and near Blackpool in September 1917. BR became very jealous of Colette’s affair with her director, Maurice Elvey, and this caused a serious rift with her.
Yellow Peril Colette’s dressing gown. Colette had written on 25 August (BRACERS 113153) asking for “permission” to dye it malachite for the winter.
Record last modified 2021/07/23
Created/last modified by blackwk