BR TO CONSTANCE MALLESON, [28 MAR. 1918]
BRACERS 19300. ALS. McMaster
Edited by S. Turcon. Reviewed by K. Blackwell

<London>
Thursday evg.1^,, 2^, 3

My Beloved

It is hateful having all these days without you — you fill me with such wonderful peace — I don’t know how I should have got through this time and the time in prison but for you — I cling to you more and more —

Today I had an hour and three quarters with Tyndal Atkinson K.C.4 He was hopeful, and seemed to think there was quite a good chance of lessening the sentence. But I don’t agree. I liked him and thought him intelligent. Then I lunched with Mrs Huth Jackson,5 which was not exciting. Now I must work on my case6 — I see the solicitors will do nothing.

Since seeing Morel,7 I have minded the prospect more, because my imagination got loose. I don’t suppose it will really be so bad when it comes.

I like better thinking about your affairs than about mine. I believe in your success, and I think you can have it quite soon — I long to know what will happen in the matter of the films. I don’t know what you ought to do if they insist on a year’s contract.

I do hope you won’t find the time at Chesham8 very beastly.

I wish this time were over — the uncertainty as to my sentence9 is very trying. It makes me full of nerves. When I am with you I forget it all, but when I am alone it comes back.

Dear Love, all my heart is yours. I feel the future is full of success for you, and I don’t believe the side of you that I love will die. Goodbye my Heart’s Love. A thousand kisses and a million tender thoughts.

B.

• 1

  [document] Document 200288.

• 2

  [envelope] The Lady Constance Malleson | Nimmy Not Cottage | Bellingdon | near Chesham. Pmk: LONDON | 6.15 PM | MAR 29 18B

• 3

  [date] Colette wrote “28 March 1918” on the letter.

• 4

  Tyndal Atkinson K.C. Sir Edward Tindal Atkinson (1847–1930) was a member of a distinguished legal family — his father was a judge, as was his brother; his nephew, who bore the same name, became Director of Public Prosecutions in the year of his uncle’s death. Atkinson represented BR at his appeal on 1 May 1918. Tindal Atkinson was regarded as “a sound rather than brilliant lawyer” (“Obituary”, Times, 4 Sept. 1930). Knighted in 1926, he finished his career as a Railway and Canal Commissioner.

• 5

  Mrs Huth Jackson Amabel Huth Jackson (née Grant Duff) became a friend of BR’s while they were still children. She wrote a memoir A Victorian Childhood from which BR quotes in his Autobiography (1: 30). Her father was Sir Montstuart Grant Duff.

• 6

  on my case Before the Appeals Court, scheduled for 1 May 1918.

• 7

  seeing Morel E.D. Morel (1873–1924), journalist and internationalist; a founder of the Union of Democratic Control. Morel had been imprisoned for six months in the Second Division for sending pacifist literature to Switzerland. Released in January, both his physical and mental health were worsened. He never recovered.

• 8

  Chesham Her cottage, “Nimmy Not”, was located in Bellingdon  near Chesham, Bucks.

• 9

  my sentence Although the length of BR’s sentence (six months) was upheld at the Appeal, the Judge, Allan J. Lawrie, ruled that it would not be served in the second division but in the first. This meant BR would be allowed his own cell with a host of privileges not available to prisoners in other divisions. There would be no hard labour and he would be enabled to carry on his philosophical research and, in fact, would be judged by prison officials on so doing.