BR TO CONSTANCE MALLESON, [15 OCT. 1917]
BRACERS 19230. ALS. McMaster
Edited by S. Turcon. Reviewed by K. Blackwell

<London>

My Dearest1^, 2^, 3

Your letters4 have been very dear — I feel I have been a brute — and you have been wonderfully forbearing. I don’t wonder you are tired — I am too — the Comee.5 was a great strain — it was hard to keep my thoughts from wandering.

I have been growing quieter in my mind, and I feel a wish to see you again.6 But this next fortnight I have so much to do that I would rather wait till I am less busy — I do really feel a great deal of love towards you, but not passion — perhaps that will grow again — what I have been feeling and not feeling was the effect of shock.

I feel that if things are to go right in future we shall have to see each other in ways that are apart from our daily lives — the conflict has to do with work, mine as much as yours, so we shall have to keep away from work in our relation.

I think that in that way we can keep an essential union in the great things — I hope so —

I am very tired — Goodnight my dear one. If you keep up hope I believe there is much that will be possible — perhaps the best —

B

• 1

  [document] Document 200216.

• 2

  [envelope] The Lady Constance Malleson | 6 Mecklenburgh Square | W.C.1. Pmk: LONDON.W.C. | 5.15 PM | OCT 15 17B

• 3

  [date] Colette wrote “15 Oct. 1917” on the letter.

• 4

  Your letters Her letters of 12, 14 and 15 October (BRACERS 113076, 113077, 113078, 113079).

• 5

  the Comee. One of the committees of the No-Conscription Fellowship.

• 6

  a wish to see you again According to Colette, he had seen her the night he sent his note of 12 lines (BRACERS 19222, [28 Oct. 1917]) breaking with her forever with the proviso that they might get back together if she ended her relationship with Maurice Elvey (“Letters to Bertrand Russell from Constance Malleson, 1916–1969”, commentary, p. 162; ts. in RA). The current letter is in reply to her letter of 28 September (BRACERS 113069).