BR TO CONSTANCE MALLESON, 6 SEPT. 1917
BRACERS 19207. ALS. McMaster
Edited by S. Turcon. Reviewed by K. Blackwell

<London>
6 Sp. 171^, 2

My Beloved

Yesterday was perfect heaven — quite unbelievably happy. I loved looking at things for you, and the time at the Attic3 was beyond all words — bathed in joy, like a landscape in the morning sunshine. I am afraid the things I said about Roy4 gave you pain — I was thinking so intently about the matter itself that I couldn’t remember anything else — Very likely my guesses were all wrong.

I love the things you chose5 — I only wish there were more of them. It is a most fearful moral effort not to spend more on giving you things — I find you gave me £6 instead of £5 the other day — that is counted in in the enclosed cheque.

I have had a letter from K. Mansfield6 which I will show you — I want to discuss it with you. She seems very anxious to be friends with me, but I don’t think she wants a love-affair — I don’t at all, but her mind is very interesting and I should like to see a fair amount of her, as long as there is not too close an intimacy. It is her black view of other people that chiefly worries me.

Saturday tea-time — till then I shall just exist. My Darling, your love is so precious and so beautiful — I feel unworthy of it, but it is gradually making me more nearly worthy. It fills me with life and energy — but what is more, it has smoothed out all the wrinkles in my instincts, and brought light into the dark corners where terrifying pain lurked — Nothing less would have done that. My heart, I bless you for all you are and all you give me — my whole being has become filled with the joy of you.

B

• 1

  [document] Document 200187.

• 2

  [envelope] The Lady Constance Malleson | 6 Mecklenburgh Square | W.C.1. Pmk: LONDON.W.C | ?.15 PM | ? SEP 17?

• 3

  the Attic The flat she shared with her husband Miles at 6 Mecklenburgh Sq.

• 4

  Roy Sir Coleridge Arthur Fitzroy Kennard (1885–1948), diplomat and author, known as “Roy” to his friends.

• 5

  the things you chose Presumably one of these things was a wristwatch that he had wanted to give her since December 1916 (BRACERS 19095).

• 6

  K. Mansfield Katherine Mansfield (1888–1923). BR first met the short-story writer in July 1915; an intense friendship began in November 1916. Her early death was caused by tuberculosis.