BR TO CONSTANCE MALLESON, [10 JULY 1917]
BRACERS 19183. ALS. McMaster
Edited by S. Turcon. Reviewed by K. Blackwell

<London>
Tuesday night1^, 2

My Darling

I have just found your wonderful letter3 — You mustn’t feel self-loathing — I feel you full of greatness — the greatness of passion and truth — you are full of truth beyond any one I have ever known. I don’t know what things destiny has in store for you, but they are things beyond your dreams — The pain of your life now is the pain of birth into the heroic life — without an outlet at the moment. But it will come. Trust Fate a bit — you may.

My dear one, your love is so marvellous to me that sometimes I hardly know myself — I cannot believe this old familiar Self can seem lovable to you — Honestly and really, it is not illusion when I feel greatness in you — I feel the essential fire, the madness, the driving terrible force.

You feel the hunger in you isolates you, but it doesn’t really, because it makes me feel you nearer to me — I know the sort of thing so well. And it makes you real and solid and serious to me — without it, I should hardly feel you a real heart’s comrade4 — Love, when it is great, is not like a house where one is cosy and warm, but like a storm on a headland — solid rock in the midst of foam and breakers — And its moments of peace are like sunset after storm, when the sea becomes violet, and a great calm envelops the silent world.

Goodnight my Beloved — Tomorrow at 7.

B.

• 1

  [document] Document 200161.

• 2

  [date] Colette wrote “10 July 1917” on the letter.

• 3

  your wonderful letter Her letter of 10 July (BRACERS 113038). There is no mention of “self-loathing” in it, although she does write in “a mood of utter depression”.

• 4

  heart’s comrade For use of this term, see BRACERS 19145, n.12.