BR TO CONSTANCE MALLESON, 15 JAN. 1917
BRACERS 19106. ALS. McMaster
Edited by S. Turcon. Reviewed by K. Blackwell

<London>
Monday mg.1
15 I 17
 

My Beloved

I found your wonderful wonderful letter2 when I came home — it overwhelmed me with your goodness and all you are and all you give me — I feel so unworthy of such love — I hate what you call the “wall” between us3 — I would break it down if I could, but I can’t. When I disappear, it is a comfort and a strength to know that you are there. I think of you unceasingly — if you were a smaller thing in my life I could see you more often, but as it is, seeing you takes the colour out of work, and makes me forget all about the business of the day.

It was a time of wonderful happiness to me, my dear one. But oh I wish I need not fill your life with pain — I cannot help it — but the joy when it comes is divine.

I love you, my Heart, I love you.

B.

I noticed all the little kindnesses you had done before going away — they spoke of love and I loved them. Thank you for the little letter4 that came this morning.

• 1

  [document] Document 200078.

• 2

  your wonderful wonderful letter Colette wrote this letter on Sunday afternoon, 14 January, at BR’s Bury Street flat after he had left (BRACERS 112994).

• 3

  the “wall” between us Colette wrote, in her Sunday letter, that she sometimes feels a “wall” between them.

• 4

  little letter This letter is not extant.