BRACERS Record Detail for 17962

To access the original letter, email the Russell Archives.

Collection code
RA3
Recent acquisition no.
69
Document no.
000822
Box no.
2.62
Source if not BR
Texas, U. of, HRC
Recipient(s)
Morrell, Ottoline
Sender(s)
BR
Date
1913/07/04*
Form of letter
ALS(DX)
Pieces
2E
BR's address code (if sender)
LON
Notes and topics

"Friday mg." "My Darling Darling Love Your dear letter this morning is rather sad, but it is so full of love that I cannot altogether feel it sadly."

Transcription

BR TO OTTOLINE MORRELL, 4 JULY [1913]
BRACERS 17962. ALS. Morrell papers #822, Texas
Proofread by A.G. Bone et al.


Friday mg 4 July.1, 2

My Darling Darling Love

Your dear letter this morning is rather sad, but it is so full of love that I cannot altogether feel it sadly. I am sorry you feel so lost. Do take to reading. There is James’s Psychology that I have longed to have you read. And Dante. Are you having Italian lessons? Do read more of James if he doesn’t tire you too much. I can’t write properly now as I have to go to my train in a moment. Darling I am so sorry to cause you unhappiness. I am sure all I really want is to be in the country, not alone. Please write to me, really really it is very good for me. It would have been all right if we had stuck to the plan of one whole day a week, which we made a year ago. I see that it won’t do to try to meet daily as part of ordinary life, except when we can be away together, like Lausanne and Seaford. Otherwise, the best way will be only to meet when you can give me a whole day, and then I can arrange to be the rest of the time in the country with other people. It makes me so ashamed insisting on my necessities, but I see I must.

If you write today or tomorrow, please address Post Office Falmouth. Please don’t keep from writing to me. I am getting clear as to what matters — it is living in town, and it is constant waiting for you and parting from you. The times after you are due and before you arrive shake me to pieces. I must see you seldom enough for you to be able to put off ordinary things when you see me — at least so it seems to me now. For both of us, it is the attempt to combine meeting with daily life that is nerve-racking.

What I really want to say (but I am half afraid to) is that if, when I am back from Cornwall and before 31st July, you could ever get a whole day free, it seems to me it would be folly not to meet. The feverishness has entirely left me, and I am sure it would be nothing but happiness. I could come up from Lockeridge any time. I shall be back from Cornwall in about a week. Don’t think I say this merely because you are unhappy — it is really really what seems to me all right, and would be only joy.

I have been terribly busy with money affairs these last 2 days and only just managed to get them done. But they are satisfactorily off my mind now. — I am sorry about Desmond. — The money affairs did me good — they gave me self-respect and made me feel not wholly useless after all.

Dearest Love, I do wish I could have not given you pain. But as regards daily life I am sure I am right — for both of us don’t you think so? Do spend the time reading — especially philosophy — James etc. And learning Italian!

Dear Heart I am full full of love to you, and I wish I could write better — but the feeling I shall miss my train hampers me — All my thoughts are with you constantly and my love goes out to you with less barrier than for a long long time — no grievance or misunderstanding, but perfect inward union.

Your
B

  • 1

    [document] Document 000822. Proofread against a colour scan of the original.

  • 2

    [envelope] A circled “822”. The Lady Ottoline Morrell | 44 Bedford Square | W.C. Pmk: LONDON W.C. | JUL 4 13B | 10 30 AM

Permission
Everyone
Transcription Public Access
Yes
Record no.
17962
Record created
Dec 12, 1990
Record last modified
Jun 23, 2025
Created/last modified by
duncana