BRACERS Record Detail for 17361
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"Friday night My Dearest Dearest—You cannot know how marvellous your passionate sympathy is—it is quite divine."
BR TO OTTOLINE MORRELL, [1 DEC. 1911]
BRACERS 17361. ALS. Morrell papers #274, Texas
Proofread by K. Blackwell et al.
My Dearest Dearest
You cannot know how marvellous your passionate sympathy is — it is quite divine. Except that there is still surviving harm to others, I feel past things (such as I spoke of today) strangely done with and left behind. From the first moment of our finding each other, I have felt that I was inwardly liberated from whatever had been bad — I do not feel that I am now a worse person in consequence of things done. It was a terrible inward tangle from which you liberated me — old and new pains side by side making each other worse — It is quite extraordinary how they all fell away when you came into my life — and as long as all is well between you and me I feel that horror of inward discord will not come back — All these months I have had an unspeakable happiness, and a sense of regeneration and new life. Even when you feel yourself numbed and when you are too tired to say much, what you are inwardly makes itself felt. O my heart, I do give you a depth of love, the outcome of a lifetime of yearning search. — I hadn’t meant to speak so definitely of what I told you today, but it came out almost before I knew, and I am thankful it did.
Darling it is dreadful that you are so ill. You give a great deal more, even when you are most ill, than you have any idea of. If you didn’t, perhaps you wouldn’t get so worn out.
Goodnight my Beloved. Monday 3 o’clock. You will let me know whether Bedford Square or the flat.
Your loving
B
