BR TO OTTOLINE MORRELL, [26 NOV. 1911]
BRACERS 17356. ALS. Morrell papers #269, Texas
Proofread by K. Blackwell et al.

<letterhead>
82, Woodstock Road,
Oxford.1^, 2
Sunday evg.

My Darling

I got a dear letter from you last night, and had made up my mind to get no more, so your letter which came this morning was an unexpected joy. — I can’t tell you how much it means to me that you find I am any help to you. I try to keep a certain austerity in my love, and not wish you to avoid painful or exhausting things — but it isn’t always easy. I agree that it would not be outward things like philanthropy and Comees. that you would shine at even if you had more health. But you could do much more for particular people. — Darling it must really be plain to you how you help me — how you make it easy for me to be serious, and to be free at the same time. In all my dealings with other people, I feel you, and I feel how much more useful I am to them because of you — and you keep alive my religious side, which is the most important.

The Murrays have been as nice as possible to me — I have had a good deal of talk with Mary but she hasn’t mentioned Alys. She is very tired — her mother and Morpeth have both been at death’s door during the last week, and she has been having to see after both. Then her sister Dorothy’s engagement is something of an anxiety. Years ago she was all nerves, doing her duty with a jerky effort and with ill-temper; now she is inwardly at peace, and rather a saint. I always used to feel she had it in her to be so, and it is a comfort to find it has happened.

I said a word to Gilbert about Alys, because I had talked to him 8 years ago about her, and I thought he might hint that it was not sudden. He says nobody here has expressed blame, tho’ many were surprised. He and I walked up to the Haverfields in the afternoon — I like Mrs H. very much, and was glad to talk Suffrage with her. I also read Rosalind Murray’s novel Moonseed — it is astonishingly good for her age — it has a distinctive quality and grips one’s heart from the beginning.

Now this must be posted. Tomorrow 11.30. Goodbye my Dearest Heart. It seems an eternity since Friday. I love you, I love you.

Your
B

• 1

  [document] Document 000269. Proofread against a colour scan of the original.

• 2

  [envelope] A circled “269”. The Lady Ottoline Morrell | 44 Bedford Square | London W.C. Pmk: OXFORD | 12:5 AM | NO 27 | 11 | 5