BR TO OTTOLINE MORRELL, [21 OCT. 1911]
BRACERS 17316. ALS. Morrell papers #230, Texas
Proofread by K. Blackwell et al.

<letterhead>
Trinity College,
Cambridge.1^, 2
Waterloo
Sat evg.

My Dearest Heart

What a joy it is to have seen you again — it is penetrating through me and still flooding into all the corners of my mind. Anybody else that I had seen 5 weeks ago I should feel I had seen quite lately, but with you it seemed an age — I felt quite shy at first and feeling I must find where you were again. Also I thought you wouldn’t like me in the mood I get into at Cambridge, I don’t like the mood — it is hard, and rather indifferent to real things. That is what makes me sometimes rebel against purely intellectual work. Darling I was sorry to find you so tired and still feeling sick. I do hope you will be better soon and be able to start the winter with some strength to spare. — Dearest please don’t ever think that I shan’t understand when you give time to P. You must know that I don’t love only what you give me but all you are and all you give to others. If I ever made it difficult for you to give to others, you would soon cease to care for me — but it is not self-interest that keeps me from grudging.

I shan’t have any book except Tolstoy’s Life with me Monday so if you think it would be nice to read any poetry or anything you might bring some. But I dare say we shan’t want to read.

Goodbye till Monday my Darling — Don’t be disappointed in me if you can help it; tho’ I don’t quite see how you can help it.

Your
B

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  [document] Document 000230. Proofread against a colour scan of the original.

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  [envelope] A circled “230”. The Lady Ottoline Morrell | 44 Bedford Square | London W.C. Pmk: LONDON.S.E. | 6. PM | OCT 21 11A