BR TO OTTOLINE MORRELL, 7 OCT. 1911
BRACERS 17295. ALS. Morrell papers #213, Texas
Proofread by K. Blackwell et al.

<letterhead>
Trinity College,
Cambridge.1^, 2
Sat. night Oct. 7. ’11

My Darling

I feel I wrote a stupid letter today, but Whitehead’s being in the room made it difficult. I meant to have written again in time for tonight’s post, but Harrison (a rather dull classical fellow) and Hill came in, and it is now too late. I like Hill more and more.

You didn’t tell me before about the Imperial library. I am glad you like our library here — it is a beautiful place. — The Whiteheads have not yet had time to read more than very little of Prisons and I thought I would rather wait till they had read it through. Both have been very busy. I haven’t seen Goldie yet.

From what you say of your letter from Dora it must be untrue that Alys had told her when she wrote to you.

I have a feeling that you have been thinking and feeling a great deal lately, and that I only partly know what. I long to be with you and have all the knowledge that brings. But I don’t want you to struggle to write when you are tired, or to express things that are still vague or that you prefer to be silent about. My Darling, you know that my love is very deep and very serious — there is nothing more serious in my life, and everything else that is good in my life is entwined with my love. It is absolutely certain to me that our love is not only right, but that it would be a terrible wrong to go against it. Also it is clear to me that it will remain as sacred as it is, and will only grow in depth with the years. If I were with you always, I should always have the same reverence. When I look back on the times we have been together, I have a feeling of something holy. No familiarity will make that less. There is something in our love which belongs to a different world from other things in life — something before which I have a feeling of awe. It is that that gives me such an overwhelming tenderness that I feel I can never express it all, and I long for every little thing that will express it. O my heart, I do want you back — I can’t say what the joy will be. Dearest, Dearest, I do love you as you deserve — I am humble about some things, but not about my love. I know that whatever is good in me goes into it, and it is better than the best of me and greater, because it is a reflection of you. Goodnight my Beloved. My love surrounds you always and my spirit is with you at all times. Goodnight my Ottoline.

Sunday. Your list of addresses came this morning, but not the letter you promised to write later — that will no doubt come tomorrow. It is very exciting that you are after all going to Italy. I do hope you are stopping a night in Verona,a it is a heavenly place. Milan is beastly, except St. Ambrose’s church, which is a haven of rest and beauty, and remains in my mind as a wonderful place. When you reach Paris I shall feel as if you were almost home, and shall be correspondingly happy.

Today I wrote a long letter to a man3 I don’t know who lives at Cheltenham and had corresponded with me about the “Free Man’s Worship”.b He was interested in Dawes Hicks’s criticism in the July Hibbert and wanted to know how I should answer it.

Later. I have been interrupted, and have been discussing my Aristn. paper4 with Whitehead. He likes it very much. I had a most agreeable lunch and walk with Goldie — I am very fond of him. He showed no signs of knowledge or its absence. Now it is almost dinner time and I must stop. Tomorrow we have fellowship election which promises to be very difficult. Goodbye my Darling. I am sorry to be so hurried.

Your loving
B.

• 1

  [document] Document 000213. Proofread against a colour scan of the original.

• 2

  [envelope] A circled “213”. BR noted on the envelope: “Oct. 9–26. 1911”. Since Ottoline returned from the Continent on the 20th, the reason for the grouping is puzzling. The Lady Ottoline Morrell | Hotel Cavour | Milan | Italy. Pmk: CAMBRIDGE | 10. AM | OC 9 | 11

• 3

  a man George Wheatley (BRACERS 81408, letter dated 3 Oct. 1911).

• 4

  my Aristn. paper “On the Relations of Universals and Particulars” (B&R C12.12; 16 in Papers 6).

Textual Notes

• a

  in Verona editorially corrected from In Verona

• b

  “Free Man’s Worship” quotation marks editorially added