BR TO OTTOLINE MORRELL, [3 OCT. 1911]
BRACERS 17289. Morrell papers #207, Texas
Proofread by K. Blackwell et al.

<letterhead>
Trinity College,
Cambridge.1
In the train
Tuesday evg.

My Darling

The Comee. was dull and quite unimportant, and I might as well not have come. There was some coup expected which didn’t come off, which was why it seemed worth my going. There are always underground machinations occasionally developing into open ructions on every Comee. Margaret was there but I didn’t see her to speak to; I lunch with her Thursday, in reply to enclosed note — Mrs Whitehead was there — I went with her in her taxi back to Carlyle Square and then came on to King’s X. She is very ill (don’t repeat this, or seem to know it if you see her when you get home). Every time I see her she is rather more ill than before and rather less capable of concealing it. For many years it has been a miracle her keeping alive, but I don’t believe she can last much longer. Her death will be a great disaster. To me it will be a very severe loss, but not such a blow as if I had not expected it. But I ought hardly to say all this to you as she doesn’t like to be considered ill and it is very desirable she shouldn’t be. I didn’t come in as Whitehead was out and she was dining with his mother.

George Trevy was there, and I had a few minutes’ talk with him, which I enjoyed. I was surprised to find what a great affection I have for him. I can see his limitations, but he is honest and affectionate and has very strong feelings, and I have known him intimately a very long time. My affection for him is much more real and deep than my feeling for Bob, which depends on his charm and is largely amusement. George is coming to Cambridge twice a week this term to lecture so I may see a good deal of him.

I am afraid I may be terribly occupied about the time you get home, as I have P.S.F. meetings in Cambridge to attend to. There is no one else there who will do any work about it, and the dates were fixed long ago. I wonder whether one day you could come say to Hitchin if my time was very short. The journey from London is only about 40 minutes so it wouldn’t tire you much, and it might give us more time if I had only part of a day free. I shall know better about free times when the times of my lectures are fixed.

This is a luxury-letter which has no business to exist. However as I got two this morning it may be pardoned. I keep thinking and thinking of the times when we shall be together again and of the joy it will be. I find it a mistake to read novels about love — they stir me up and make me impatient. Business is the best distraction by far. But even impatience is a form of happiness — it is not of a painful kind. Goodnight my Beloved. I love you I love you.

Yr
B

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