BR TO OTTOLINE MORRELL, [26 SEPT. 1911]
BRACERS 17278. ALS. Morrell papers #196, Texas
Proofread by K. Blackwell et al.

<letterhead>
Ipsden,
Wallingford.
In the train1^, 2
Tuesday morning

My Darling

I will finish this after my visit to the Whiteheads. Whitehead himself is not there, but I shall see her, which I am very glad of — also North. I gather they have visitors — Hope Mirrlees and perhaps others. It will be quite exciting to see people after such a long solitude. Last night was a wild night of wind and rain, but today it is fresh and clear and more like an April morning than like autumn — only it is warmer. — Prisons has still not come back from the typewriter, who swore I should have it on Saturday. It is very annoying. — Yesterday having no light reading I went to Goring to see what could be had, and got Mr. Clutterbuck’s Election for 7d. It rather amused me, as Belloc always does, but his satire seems to me that of an unpleasant person. I feel him full of the envy which seems so common with French democrats. Now that I have Hilda Lessways I shall be kept occupied for a long time. I only read a few pages, but one gets her whole character at once. She is an attractive person. — I am ploughing through Aristotle’s Ethics, which I wish to have read, but I don’t get much out of it. He is always making remarks that put me off, such as that death is the worst of evils and that the noblest form of courage is that displayed in battle. However I admit he is careful and thorough in a way. He rather reminds me of Broad whose dissertation I have been reading. — The last time I went to Lockeridge was in the middle of our time at Peppard — when you went to Ham and the oculist. I was a good deal worried about your health at that time and especially about your eyes. I bicycled to the next village before breakfast to send you a telegram. I wonder how I shall find the Whiteheads this time. It is unusually long since I saw them last.

9.40 p.m. In the train. I got a fair budget of news from Mrs Whitehead. Alys and Karin had been there — Alys a good deal less unhappy, but disliking Karin and having turned Mrs Berenson against her. Hope Mirrlees is ill in bed, recovering from (keep this to yourself) refusing Arthur Dakyns. Alys had guessed or discovered all about Marienbad. She told Mrs W. that for the first time you had gone abroad without either P. or your maid, and that I was not to be found at Ipsden. She urged Mrs W. to write there to see if I answered — couldn’t see that that was not a thing to do.

I didn’t tell Mrs W. where we had been, but I let her see that Alys was right — Alys knew where we had been, but Mrs W. had forgotten. I don’t know how Alys knew you hadn’t taken your maid. She knows a lot somehow.

Mrs W. undertook to find me a place in Chelsea. She thinks a flat safer than a house — says I couldn’t leave a house empty, and a servant would be a nuisance. I think she is right. She likes the plan for themselves, and is glad it will keep Alys out of Chelsea.

I shall probably be in London with the Whiteheads Oct. 5 and 6. If so, please address Post Office, Chelsea. North seemed very well.

I stayed there to dinner, and then bicycled to Hungerford through Savernake Forest. It was very beautiful, a lovely still night. I shan’t get home till near midnight, and shall have ridden 50 miles. They offered me a bed but I couldn’t bring myself to do without a letter from you for so long so I refused. Bicycling at night is very delicious when one has a good road that doesn’t require all one’s attention.

I enjoyed my visit and found that 10 days’ silence had not robbed me of the use of my tongue. But I minded not having a letter from you in the middle of the day. However it will be all the more joy when I find it at home.

I am more solidly happy than I was even in the summer. While I was at Lockeridge I went a walk by myself one night and I remember I got quite unhappy, I don’t know what about now — perhaps it was your health, or my sins, or God’s taste in universes (which I think sadly uncultivated), or what not. But ever since Prisons got written I have had a feeling of solidity I did not have before. I feel sure of your conscience. Fortunately, like being a God, it’s not all beer and skittles for you — if it were, I expect your conscience would prick you more than it does. If I find you having attacks of conscience I will take lessons from Lamb, and develop a new vice every day for you to cure me of. When this treatment has made me perfect, I will discover vices in you and cure them for a consideration.

Now I have descended to nonsense so it is time to stop. Goodnight my Darling. I hope Prag is pleasant. I wish I were there.

I love you Dearest with all my soul — Yes I do give you passionate sympathy — just as passionate as my love.

Your utterly devoted
B.

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  [document] Document 000196. Proofread against a colour scan of the original.

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  [envelope] A circled “196”.