BRACERS Record Detail for 17253
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"Tuesday night" "My Darling—I am sorry to have had to write such scraps today—it is very difficult here to get away and be alone. You suggest that I should not forget you. Of course it is very difficult not to, but I will try to remember your existence once in a way if I can manage it. If you have to go to Marienbad the end of this month, we are terribly near the end of our time. It will be difficult going back to brief and occasional meetings. But we shall never lose what has come to us in this time. We are united now in all that is most important to us both, and that ought to make times of separation more bearable. Still, I feel they will be very difficult.
I have been trying tonight to talk a little about religion, to see how the things we have spoken of together would sound before other people. It was only a moderate success, but I couldn't bring myself to say very much. When I am away from you, the chief thing I think of is your faith in good things, and the way it makes all my best live. But I must not grow too dependent on you in that way, and I must not let my life grow soft."
BR TO OTTOLINE MORRELL, [15 AUG. 1911]
BRACERS 17253. ALS. Morrell papers #172, Texas
Proofread by K. Blackwell et al.
My Darling
I am sorry to have had to write such scraps today — it is very difficult here to get away and be alone. You suggest that I should not forget you. Of course it is very difficult not to, but I will try to remember your existence once in a way if I can manage it. — If you have to go to Marienbad the end of this month, we are terribly near the end of our time. It will be difficult going back to brief and occasional meetings. But we shall never lose what has come to us in this time. We are united now in all that is most important to us both, and that ought to make times of separation more bearable. Still, I feel they will be very difficult.
I have been trying tonight to talk a little about religion, to see how the things we have spoken of together would sound before other people. It was only a moderate success, but I couldn’t bring myself to say very much. When I am away from you, the chief thing I think of is your faith in good things, and the way it makes all my best live. But I must not grow too dependent on you in that way, and I must not let my life grow soft.
When the rest had gone to bed, I started to go a walk in the moonlight — North came with me and we talked about Kant’s Kritik which he has been reading. His intelligence is ripening fast; I think he might be very fairly good at philosophy.
Goodnight Darling — it is after one and I must go to sleep. My Dearest, I love you with all my heart and mind, and long to be back with you.
B.
Monday morning Dearest your letter of yesterday has come this morning which is an unexpected pleasure. I hope you will find the right thing to do for your eyes. But you ought not to trust wholly to one man. If you see another, he will of course confirm the first if he is told what the first has said. — We must talk about Prisons. I can’t think about it here, because my own life rather ceases for the time when I am with so many people whose lives interest me.
Now I must get up and post this. My last letter before we meet again. Eleven tomorrow. Goodbye Darling. I hunger for you — I long to go back into our world of joy and vision.
Your
B.
