BR TO OTTOLINE MORRELL, [JULY 1911]
BRACERS 17232. ALS. Morrell papers #152, Texas
Proofread by K. Blackwell et al.

In the train.1^, 2
Friday evening

My Dearest

I cannot yet find words to tell you all that is in my heart. I know that these days have been a crisis in our love and in my life, and I know that both have emerged much better than they were before. I do not now fear the future. I expect other crises, but I feel a complete confidence that we shall surmount them successfully, and that they will strengthen the bond.

I know that what you give me is better than I supposed any human being had to give. And I have faith that I have something to give which you will always value. The good in me is sometimes obscured, but you will know that it is there. I did not feel you aloof today. Sometimes, even when things seem very good, I have the sense that your inner life is out of my reach, that you descend from it into my world with something of self-abnegation for my sake. But today I felt we lived in the same world and there was no descent and no self-repression needed on your side. It follows in my mind on the day when we met in Carlyle Square, which has hitherto stood out in my thoughts. I feel that you will be through me the cause of much good to the world. But I know too that I need times of rest from the most serious thought. Great feeling goes with intense thought in me, and intense thought must often cease to make life physically possible. But you will know and understand this.

Dearest I am very tired and my head is empty of all but love to you. I cannot tell you of my love — I have no words for it. You know its depth and strength. You know that I long to do great things that shall consecrate our love to you. You know that I will do great things. You know all I can say and more. O Dearest I yearn to you. Life is a long battle inward and outward — creation is difficult — living rightly is difficult — but you make everything possible — Goodbye my Beloved. My soul calls to you and I know your response — Goodbye — if we were never to meet again, today would remain with me through life to make me know what life can give. I am yours in all seriousness and in all devotion.

B.

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  [document] Document 000152. Proofread against a colour scan of the original.

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