BR TO OTTOLINE MORRELL, [14 JULY 1911]
BRACERS 17227. ALS. Morrell papers #147, Texas
Proofread by K. Blackwell et al.

In the train.1^, 2
Friday night.

My Darling

I hardly felt sad at all at going today because it will be such a short time till I am settled in your neighbourhood. And I am so glad to have got most of my little book written. It was a wrench bringing my mind on to it, and I hardly knew beforehand whether the effort would not, as you once said of yourself, tighten up my love inside, but it didn’t. My love adapts itself to different moods and fits them all — the only one it wouldn’t fit with was when I feared it might be wrong or lead to sordidness. It fits work well because it is so very serious and because I could not feel I was giving you the best unless I remained dedicated to my task as I have been hitherto. Only now I do it with happiness and without the painful oppression of efforts all but beyond my strength. It is not only for your sake but for mine that I want you to be well. I want your help and interest in my work.

I was incredibly happy today — serious (not quite all the time) but only from intense happiness.

Do please when I come next ask me questions. I should really like you to. I have gone on the plan of telling you as little as possible that involved other people. Otherwise I would tell you everything; and even in that I have perhaps been absurdly scrupulous. The one thing I absolutely must not tell about is what happened 9 years ago. It is possible I may be able to some day. At present I am absolutely bound not to.

I really enjoyed seeing P. tho’ it was only for a moment. He was very nice to me.

I shall hope for a letter at the Phillimores’ Sunday morning, and one at Trinity Monday. I thought Julian very dear and charming today. I don’t think one can easily get on easy terms with a child if one can’t play and romp with it. But of course later that won’t be necessary. Goodbye Dearest Life. I am filled with utter joy. You give me everything, for the heart and the imagination and for the serious purpose of one’s life. I never supposed one person could give so much. I love you. Padden Arms.3

Your
B.

• 1

  [document] Document 000147. Proofread against a colour scan of the original.

• 2

  [envelope] ??.

• 3

  Padden Arms The significance of this phrase in the letter is unknown.