BR TO OTTOLINE MORRELL, [11 JULY 1911]
BRACERS 17225. ALS. Morrell papers #145, Texas
Proofread by K. Blackwell et al.

Upper Wyche.1^, 2
Tuesday night.

My Darling

Only two more days to be got through before Friday — I shall be thankful when this time is over, tho’ in itself it has been very enjoyable, and it has been very useful for work — I have got quite half my book done, and a great deal more than half the work. I got a great deal done today. What remains to be done will be easy. North started writing an essay on international trade, so we sat opposite each other knitting our brows and staring at each other with unseeing eyes. After dinner young Arnold Foster the painter turned up unexpectedly. He is very amusing in a way, and I think perhaps he is nice, but I am not sure. He tells me he has been painting Janet Trevelyan (who is his cousin) — not a very promising subject at first sight one would say — He has a sufficient opinion of himself, but I don’t mind that in young people — it helps them to get through their work.

It is very hot again, tho’ not so hot as it was last week. I have had no thoughts outside work today, except what went to you. I do long for you Darling, always, whatever I am doing. The longer it is since we have met the more I feel it. It will be heavenly being established at Ipsden. Goodnight Dearest Love. I send you ten thousand kisses.

Wednesday midday. For some reason your letter didn’t come till 2nd post — the morning seemed very blank without it but it is all the better now. Yes Roger’s note is very unsatisfactory. Evidently he still believes falsehoods. I wish I could do something but I suppose I can’t. — Yes you have got my title right at last! — Let me know as soon as you can when you go to Truro and Ham. If it is the same to you, I can be more use at Cambridge before August 15 than after, as people go away about then. — I am sorry about Lamb but it was bound to happen and it is a very trying situation for him. I am sorry you have to stand to him — it must be tiring — I hope the result will be good. — I hope you won’t feel you must go to London this week. It is sure to prevent you getting rested. But I would rather it were this week than later, if it must be.

You mustn’t grow gloomy even when you are tired. So far from upsetting my life you have done just the opposite — it was utterly upset before and would have got worse. Now I have what I want — not so much of it as I want, but still a very great deal — I feel my life fixed and full of happiness and purpose. And the future, instead of growing gradually blacker, grows brighter as I look forward — I have every belief that the years will bring a constantly increasing love and trust and sense of comradeship and all the background of things shared. And I hope it may grow more and more possible to be a great deal together. But apart from all this you know perfectly that there is no joy in life to be compared to love. You know that in giving me your love you give what is greatest, and everything else is insignificant in comparison. Of course I do at times find it hard to suppress the wish for more of you, still I succeed very well on the whole. And I feel a purpose and continuity in my future which were absent before.

2a
Thursday morning. Your letter reached me at the usual time (8 o’clock) in spite of being posted late. From Mr. Davies’s letter Alys appears to be behaving very loyally. — I am sorry Julian was naughty but I don’t believe she has no heart. Will you tell me about it, or would you rather not? — Tomorrow night I shall stay at the Paddington Hotel. Sat. afternoon I go to Battler’s Green, Monday morning to Cambridge. Tuesday I will come as early as you can have me.

I should much like to make friends with Lamb if he will let me. No, obviously you must not drop him. That could only have been done if he had continued to behave very badly.

I am glad you are getting solitude at last. It is obvious that you ought to have a great deal, tho’ I am afraid I shall be a sad obstacle! I hope the Dr. is right about the injections; and I hope you will get 14 hours’ sleep on all possible occasions — these do not include occasions when you have visits from eminent philosophers do they?

I hope your Agenda will be properly drawn up. I will be Chairman, and call you to order if you depart by a hair’s breadth from the subject of debate. So there!

My taxi had better come to the Up Platform as that is where I arrive. But it doesn’t matter — only it saves a few minutes.

Now I really must go down again. (I am writing in my bedroom.) I am longing for you more than I can say. Goodbye my Darling till tomorrow. You have all my love and my thoughts are with you every moment.

Yr. utterly devoted
B.

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  [document] Document 000145. Proofread against a colour scan of the original.

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Textual Notes

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