BR TO OTTOLINE MORRELL, [26 JUNE 1911]
BRACERS 17209. ALS. Morrell papers #129, Texas
Proofread by K. Blackwell et al.

<letterhead>
Trinity College,
Cambridge.1^, 2
Monday midday

My Darling

I am very sorry you got no letter yesterday — I had hoped you would have — but my letter must have reached you this morning. I am in a state of puzzle about plans — wondering how to distribute my luggage and my bicycle, where to get letters, and so on. I gather Goldie is pretty sure to stay till Thursday morning, so I shall hope for a telegram from you to say when I am to come — the earlier the better. Thinking Wed. impossible I said I would dine with the Whiteheads that night; that is not imperative, but it makes me feel I ought to let them know if I am not coming. Tomorrow I lunch with the Dakyns’s, and then go on to my Aunt’s. I leave here 8.53. You don’t say whether I am to accept the Phillimore’s invitation for Sat. to Mon. July 15–17, just after my “retreat”. I ought to answer soon. I shouldn’t think of going if there was even a remote chance of you, but I imagine there wouldn’t be.

These last 2 nights I have read over all your letters (except the quite recent ones) — they are the most beautiful letters, Dearest — It is interesting how at first we were almost afraid of so much happiness, and very full of tragedy and all habits of unhappiness persisting — and gradually happiness has really taken hold of us, and made us believe in it as real and not a dream. The world is so changed from what it used to be — I feel so full of a great deep inward joy, gradually pervading all my thoughts and feelings, and making the whole of life a new thing.

Yesterday Waterlow told me most of his story — very queer, like most people’s, and rather tragic. I think I can tell you when we meet. Dickinson dined in Hall with me, and then McTaggart and Hill came in. McTaggart’s idea of humour is queer. Talking of his wife, who went to see the procession, he remarked “She must have some good in her in spite of being a Liberal, for she so much admired the Lord Mayor”. He is curiously ignorant; Dickinson has been his intimate friend since they were undergraduates (less recently) yet he is totally ignorant of Dickinson’s being sexually perverted, as appears from things he says before Dickinson.

It is obvious you will go to Broughton, so I am glad you liked the house. I dare say the country might in time come to seem fairly nice. If you went there I should have to get a cottage at Chipping Norton.

I do not go to my Aunt till tomorrow. I am very sorry you are still so tired. I hope by this time you are nearly at Peppard, and going to be able to rest.

My mind is in a state, with plans and packing and bills (which I can’t pay!) and journeys and my Aunt — and the thought of going to the Dakyns’s, which will be painful. — I am very glad you think I may come to Peppard the first time after my retreat — it will be nicer [do you mind this word here?], and I couldn’t settle down to going on writing without a time to make up for the fortnight away, could I? Goodbye my Dearest — I am so longing for you that I have nothing else to say. I love you love you love you.

Your
B.

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  [document] Document 000129. Proofread against a colour scan of the original.

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  [envelope] A circled “129”.