BR TO OTTOLINE MORRELL, [17 JUNE 1911]
BRACERS 17195. ALS. Morrell papers #118, Texas
Proofread by K. Blackwell et al.

<letterhead>
Trinity College,
Cambridge.1^,2
Clapham Junction
Sat. mg.

My Darling

I wrote to Bedford Square, but I feel no certainty that my letter will arrive before you start for Oxford. I hope I shall find a letter from you at Shiffolds — but I don’t want you to feel you must write when you are tired. I should be sorry to be degraded to the position of a duty.

I have a feeling of depression over me today — it is due to your being so tired — also to the physical effect of Mrs Whitehead’s face of terror when she saw me yesterday — but chiefly to your being tired and to the feeling that my coming into your life will wear you out with agitations and nervous strain. Do please not be unselfish towards me if you can help it — it won’t make me happier in the long run. But indeed I hope our worst agitations are over.

Darling I do so want to bring you nothing but good, yet it seems impossible. But I would if I possibly could. I am tired today, I don’t know why — the world seems complicated and difficult and as if one thing wouldn’t fit with another — I dare say tomorrow I shall have quite different feelings. — I do hope Monday will be possible, but if not I will be patient. Yesterday made me long for more of you — and vexed me that I could not be merely restful to you when you were tired. Goodbye my heart — this must be posted. I love you with all my heart and soul and I long for your happiness my Dearest Dearest.

Yours utterly
B.

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  [document] Document 000118. Proofread against a colour scan of the original.

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  [envelope] A circled “118”.