BR TO OTTOLINE MORRELL, [9 JUNE 1911]
BRACERS 17180. ALS. Morrell papers #105, Texas
Proofread by K. Blackwell et al.

<letterhead>
Trinity College,
Cambridge.1^, 2
In the train
Friday

My Dearest Life

I can’t find any words good enough for our two days — they were so absolutely perfect. It was delightful talking to you about my work. I must try to find more things to say about it without being too technical. And I love the thought of reading philosophy with you. There is a great deal that we might read — any quantity of Plato — Berkeley — parts of Descartes — it will all be delightful. And I can talk of my own plans for future work. Only work always turns out rather different from what one has expected.

I thought P. felt my presence almost unendurable, and thinking so, I admired his behaviour very much indeed. I felt a sense of shame in his presence — not reasonably but instinctively. I am glad the first meeting is over — it will be easier another time.

I carried off your cigarettes. They seemed hardly worth returning — I will bring some next time. The weather turned suddenly cold and cloudy, and looks like rain — Providence has been very kind to us, and evidently approves.

I find Mrs Whitehead will be in London next week. The time she is at Cambridge is 19th to 24th. I shall be at the Whiteheads’ tonight, and go to Cambridge tomorrow, and be there till further notice.

Dearest it is quite impossible to tell you all that your love means to me. It has utterly transformed the world for me. I find that the old austerities drop away, but something good remains from them — a seriousness and depth and something one might call religious in my love. Love seems to me so often to fall short of what is best by isolating people and making them forget the rest of mankind.a Some discipline that one gets through austerity prevents that, and makes me feel the world afresh through your love — that is why people find me gentler. Goodbye my heart. I am yours utterly.

B.

• 1

  [document] Document 000105. Proofread against a colour scan of the original.

• 2

  [envelope] A circled “105”.

Textual Notes

• a

  mankind after deleted indecipherable start of a word