BR TO OTTOLINE MORRELL, [22 MAY 1911]
BRACERS 17150. ALS. Morrell papers #77, Texas
Proofread by K. Blackwell et al.

In the train
<letterhead>
Trinity College,
Cambridge.1^, 2

My Dearest

I ought to be considering my remarks tonight but it doesn’t seem possible. My thoughts won’t come away from the complete and absolute happiness that fills me, more even than ever before. The depth and strength of it is unbelievable. The power of it today was wonderful — I feel it filling me utterly.

I wasted about 25 seconds, as the train waited that length of time after I got in. This was bad management. It is a very full train but I don’t think my neighbours are reading what I write. I am no longer really worried about A. Oddly enough, what has often kept me from confronting her with her offences is inability to humiliate her beyond what cannot be helped.

I am very sorry indeed about Roger. I can’t feel very indignant with him — he is overwrought and Vanessa holds him. But it necessarily prevents much friendship with him, and turns him into an object of charity. It is a great pity.

Here we are at Hitchin. I found quite nice walks here the other day, not sensational, but pleasant. I will look up trains tonight. It is quite hopeless to begin telling you all I feel. It is quite wonderful, the peace that our love gives. It is that that made it easy to behave better than I sometimes do to A. I felt such pity, and (for oneself) that it was worth any sacrifice to preserve the inward peace, which I should lose if I really behaved badly to her. The chief thing that makes me know our love will be permanent is that it strengthens all that is good. Your universal love is very beautiful, and helps me to feel the same. Dearest, I said almost nothinga of what I was feeling — there was so much that had to be talked about. But you knew I am sure, just as I knew with you. Goodbye my heart and my life —

Your loving
B —

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  [document] Document 000077. Proofread against a colour scan of the original.

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  [envelope] A circled “77”.

Textual Notes

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  nothing followed by an obliterated word