BR TO OTTOLINE MORRELL, [4 MAY 1911]
BRACERS 17123. ALS. Morrell papers #55, Texas
Proofread by K. Blackwell et al.

<letterhead>
Trinity College,
Cambridge.1^, 2
Thursday mg.

Yes, Dearest it was worth 1d., or even three halfpence, which was what it cost. I am very sorry indeed that Julian is ill — I hope it is nothing serious. Also I am sorry you are so tired — your letter sounds as if you were terribly worn out. Darling I long to be with you, and make you forget troubles if I can, and just rest — Will you really be up by 10 o’clock tomorrow? I do long for you. When I have your touch I know that all is well.

Last night, when I had meant to go to bed, I began reading over your letters instead. They are wonderful. It was an awful time when we thought we might have to part. You said just the things that were wanted to put me straight. First you said I ought to enlarge my love so as to be able to do without having you altogether — that appealed to me very strongly. Then you told me not to be “contemptuous” of your work — and that appealed to me. You couldn’t have said anything different that would have affected so strongly. You will always be able to get the best that I am capable of, however at times I may struggle. And that is perhaps the chief reason why I know my love will be permanent. There is what one would call love of God if one believed in God: and in the long run I do not find that any other love can live if it comes into conflict with love of God. But love of you reinforces love of God and it is strengthened by it. My difficulty through life has been that altho’ love of God was strong, and would destroy what conflicted with it in the end, it was not always dominant, and never satisfying by itself. And I did not suppose I could ever harmonize it with other things — that is one thing that is extraordinary in you.

Dearest, Dearest, I long to be with you. If you are still tired when I come, I will rest you and give you peace — I really can, when that is what is needed. I could be infinitely tender with you Darling — don’t think that if you are tired I shall make difficult demands.

Goodbye my heart, my life. I have so much to give, I long to give it fully — I love you, my Ottoline.

Your
B.

• 1

  [document] Document 000055. Proofread against a colour scan of the original.

• 2

  [envelope] ??.