BR TO OTTOLINE MORRELL, [3 MAY 1911]
BRACERS 17120. ALS. Morrell papers #52, Texas
Proofread by K. Blackwell et al.

<letterhead>
Trinity College,
Cambridge.1^, 2
Wed. night

My Darling

I am glad you came to an amicable understanding with Lamb finally, but of course he will break out again. When he gets away he will feel that he has been tricked into parting with his precious grievance, and will feel a fresh grievance on that account. Yes, jealousy is horrible. I have known one or two people who, whatever they felt, did not show any jealousy when it might have been expected. But they are few. I should still feel it if I had any occasion for it, altho’ I despise it and have worked hard to be rid of it. But I don’t think I should feel it without serious occasion.

I have got my books arranged, and the ones I was not keeping are packed and gone. It is a great comfort. I have nearly finished my French proofs, and have been busy with exam papers from Bryn Mawr, in America, “general culture” papers as they call them, which were sent to me to compare with English standards. They are glib, ignorant, and worthless, for the most part. When your letter arrived, I was making friends with a nice man whom I barely knew before, D.S. Robertson, also a married man living in College as a bachelor. He was more real than all these people who have never come across real life. — A pleasant event of the day was that G.E. Moore was appointed a University Lecturer, so that he will be here next term. It had been mooted some time, but was doubtful till today.

I don’t understand what you mean about “sissors” but I gather your maid was not in the room, unless I have mistaken the word —

I have been occupied all day with one thing and another, so that I have hardly been out at all — I shall take this to the Post Office myself. I don’t usually leave your letters to the College Porters. I feel stupid and unable to think unless someone asks a definite question. But whatever I feel it is always a comfort to be writing to you. If I had the time, I could easily spend the whole day writing to you. When term is over, and my popular book is written, I shall have more leisure — then you may expect vast sheaves of autobiography and personal reflections, so that you won’t be able to find time to read them. Next to getting your letters, I like writing to you. I have an impulse to write about everything, however trivial, but you really must tell me if you get bored with all the little things. — Karin wrote to say she found herself no use at Iffley so she was coming back, and wanted her lesson tomorrow. I gathered, reading between the lines, that the family gathering was on her nerves. The most sordid thing I ever went through was the death of Alys’s father — but most of the sordidness was made by Mrs Smith’s avariciousness. The only comic relief was when she sold the old man’s false teeth to a second-hand dealer. 

Now Darling I must stop, to catch the post. All my thoughts are with you, feeling for your worry and fatigue, wishing I were with you. I will come back to Cambridge by a train at seven Sunday evening. Either Friday or Saturday we might go farther afield than Richmond, if it is fine. But I can’t think of the right place. Darling, I long to be with you — nothing else counts. I am absorbed in you to an extent that is really quite terrible if it were not such extraordinary joy. I love you, more deeply and completely every day. I am utterly yours.

B.

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  [document] Document 000052. Proofread against a colour scan of the original.

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  [envelope] A circled “52”. The Lady Ottoline Morrell | 44 Bedford Square | London W.C. Pmk: ??.