17594

BRACERS Record Detail

To access the original letter, email the Ready Division.

Collection code 
RA3
Class no. 
Recent acquisition no. 
69
Document no. 
.000493
Box no. 
2.58
Source if not BR 

Texas, U. of, HRC

Recipient(s) 
Morrell, Ottoline
Sender(s) 
BR
Date 
1912/07/10
Enclosures/References 
Form of letter 
ALS(M)
Pieces 
2E
BR's address code (if sender) 
TC
Notes, topics or text 

"Wed. evg. My Darling Darling—A letter from you forwarded from Fontainebleau reached me today—such a dear dear letter—the happiest I have ever had from you—except perhaps just after Studland, which was not better. You cannot think what it means to me when you say the spell of loneliness is broken—your loneliness has been torture to me both on your account and on mine. Yes I think it is because I realize your life more that you feel it so different. And I do now really understand the way complications and nerves together affect you. I feel the change in you quite immeasurable. Always before I had a feeling that you condescended to me—that is of course too strongly put, but when I was vexed that was how it appeared—that your inner life was solitary and independent, that you were anxious to give but too proud to receive. And that made me have very little to give; also it made me feel that no full or complete relation was possible between us. What helped me most at Lausanne was that you were willing to let me know when you were unhappy, and to let me sometimes give sympathy, and to help me to understand things which I misunderstood if you said nothing. And then being able to write made everything solid, because I no longer had the sense of something very important being thrown away.

Yes, we are only now at the beginning really. I am convinced that now that we have once got straight we shall keep so, even if minor difficulties come up. I don't feel now that I lose you when I come here—you are no longer apart from the rest of my life. Darling we must avoid everything that gives a jar to you and makes you retire into yourself—it will be much easier now that I am reasonable.

Filed 
Published 
Russell letter no. 
Permission 
Everyone
Thread 
Reel no. 
Frame no. 
Record no. 
17594
Record created 2014/05/20
Record last modified 2020/04/08
Created/last modified by rstaple