BR TO CONSTANCE MALLESON, 17 JUNE 1918
BRACERS 116591. ALS. McMaster
Edited by K. Blackwell

I received from Brighton flowers and green vase, both of which drove me nearly wild with delight — please give my most enchanted thanks, and say that when the evening sun shines on the green the colour is intoxicating, one feels colour more here than outside.

Message to C.O’N: infinitely grateful for your message. Agree most strongly about Tolstoyan love and about the great pity for those who have no sense of the torch-bearer. It is that pity that seems to drain one’s life. I feel mankind in these days like a pitiful dumb animal with an open wound out of which the blood drips and life is oozing away — and one’s own life must go with it, or else one must grow callous for the time. I find selfishness a rest from the unendurable pity. But only temporarily: one’s life is not life unless it is linked on to that of the world — I go round and round in my mind the possibilities of work that is constructive, but I see nothing now except what is for the moment solitary: thinking things out, being ready for peace when it comes.

Message to G.J.: How lovely it is to think of wonderful times, like Clee Hill — how glorious if the hopes talked of there come true! I am glad Miles [Malleson] is having such success. As to work: of course London would be infinitely nicer for all parties, but one must not let private things get in the way of professional interests — I made a vow to that effect, and mean to stick to it. So one must do what is best for work, regardless of mood and pleasure. But of course if Miles’s thing comes off it will be perfect.

To Percy: Very glad to know plans — anxious always to keep knowing the outline of events. One has no time in visits: excitement makes one brusque and forget all one meant to ask — the time is gone at once. Afterwards one realizes how one has bungled the opportunity. Am very happy in all personal ways, only unhappy about public things. (End of message to Percy).